4 Ways YOU Can Create Powerful Habits – James Clear
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Apollonia Ponti is a Dating & Relationship Coach for men. She specializes in teaching men to understand what women want, master their witchery skills, and build their conviction in dating or a relationship.
In this Addicted2Success Podcast episode Apollonia shares how you can show up powerfully in Dating and Relationships.
Here is the audio of the podcast:
Mindset #1 You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone
You have clarity in your life well-nigh who you are as a person and if you are not going to be desired as a man by a particular person, then you know there is someone else that will desire you. Now I’m not saying that you’re going to be disrespectful and come off harsh and really, really aggressive, but what I do midpoint is that you just hold your power. You know who you are and you don’t have to prove yourself or you don’t have to say things to get people to like you.
You don’t have to act in a particular way for someone to like you. You know that you showing up as you will be the way people will see you and if they don’t like you, no big deal. You like you and that’s what matters.
Mindset #2 You’re not tying to an outcome, you know that everything will work out, and if it doesn’t, you will be okay
If you go a little bit deeper in this, this ways that you’re okay with stuff alone, right? This ways that you, alone, are okay considering a lot of times in relationships a lot of people seek validation from another. They seek validation that they are loved, that they are unbearable but you’re the only person that needs to see yourself as unbearable to vamp that. That’s what I’m saying. Mindset number two is not tying to a specific outcome.
If you like a girl and she’s an wondrous girl and you think this is going unconfined wimpy wimpy blah, you’re okay if it works out and you’re okay if it doesn’t work out. It’s just the simple act of you not putting pressure considering if you put pressure it shows neediness, insecurity, and attachment.
Mindset #3 You squint at things as what value can I offer someone or something instead of what can I get out of this considering you have a mindset that you know the increasingly that I requite the increasingly that I’m going to receive
Now it’s not that you’re saying that you’re going to requite someone a piece of you or your time if they’re not going to be respectful or receiving towards it, but you know that you don’t have this vein that you’re just like, “Okay, what are you giving me? I’m here considering you need to be here and you’re giving me something considering my time is valuable to me.” No.
Your time is valuable to you, yes, but this is from a variegated perspective and mindset. You’re like, “Okay, how can I add value to you in your life?” Considering you know you’re capable of meeting your own needs and stuff there for others. It’s less selfish. This comes off so lulu to women and it shows too that you are powerful and that you hold your own pretty well.
Mindset #4 You’re unapologetically honest
I don’t midpoint that you’re just going to point out and say things like you squint fat in that dress or anything like that but you’re going to obviously be honest and unshut well-nigh your own opinions. Women are so attracted to this and I talk well-nigh this so much considering I just want to get it ingrained in your head. You don’t want to unchangingly stipulate with a woman considering one, you’ll fall into friend zone pretty hands when that happens, and two, women test men a lot when it comes to this.
When you’re unshut and you’re honest well-nigh how you finger or have your own opinion well-nigh a specific topic that the both of you are talking about, it shows that you are just you showing up for you and not trying to impress her considering you are unbearable and that’s what is impressive to a woman.
Mindset #5 You value your time so this ways you moreover want to see if she’s worth it
There is a difference here. What I midpoint in value your time is you take your time with her to see if she is worth it for you. A lot of times men fall into just the visual of the woman. Like oh my gosh, she has a nice body, she’s beautiful, she’s this, she’s that, which I’m not saying to dismiss, but what I am saying is understand that those women can be a little bit increasingly intriguing to you when you’re really trying to get to know her on an emotional level, what she has to offer you and who she is as a person if she’s worth a transferral as well.
Instead of just seeing her eyeful and thinking, “This one!” This is the mindset you want to unchangingly have: no matter how trappy the woman is or how unconfined the woman is, you have to see if she’s worth it for you to invest your time in and the same goes vice versa. A woman of value is deciding the same thing; are you the type of person she wants to make a transferral to as well.
Mindset #6 You show up powerfully in your own skin
What I midpoint by this is you just know yourself. I midpoint I talk well-nigh this in mindset number one and mindset number two, but when you show up in your own skin, you walk into places like a lounge or a restaurant or wherever you are, and your chin is up, shoulders are back, and you just confidently know who you are. Women can sense this when a man just knows who he is and he owns it and he’s just powerful in who he is. It shows in how you present yourself.
How do you wilt powerful? Well, you have to be focused on something that is thriving in your life and you can read my vendible on how to find your purpose to discover some ideas on how to find your purpose and how you requite back. This is significant to your everyday world when it comes to attraction.
Mindset #7 You’re understanding but you don’t get defensive
There are so many men that I know that get very low on patience. They take will-less offense to something as though if a woman says something she’s stuff disrespectful and he points fingers when and he automatically gets offended as though he has to defend himself and the world is all versus him. This is not compassion. What this unquestionably does to a woman in her mind is it kills witchery all the time. I midpoint from day one. It’s a huge red flag for a woman. I bring this up considering this has happened a lot in coaching sessions and men that I’ve talked to, they’re just like, “I just don’t have patience. I just don’t have the time, wimpy wimpy wimpy wimpy blah,” but they hold this speciality of not having compassion but moreover not knowing how to just breathe, take a moment and be like, “All right.
This has nothing to do with me. What’s the worst thing possible that can come out of this? Let me just unshut this up for discussion,” instead of just pointing fingers and getting so frustrated to the point where you can hear it in their tone. You can see it in their physical stuff and you can hear the way that they come off and their expressions. Everything changes, their demeanor, their energy, everything.
This is huge in regards to the mindset of a man. You don’t want to let everyone else tenancy your emotions. You are the one that’s in tenancy of your own emotions, right? Meaning, okay someone says something to you to piss you off. You have a choice! You have a nomination to either get wrestling or just squint at him and smile and be like, “Damn. You’re having a bad day.” Right? Considering of the fact that when you hold your own, it shows so much increasingly conviction that you’re just not reacting and you’re just unsuspicious it and you’re just like, “You’re not going to get to me,” considering you tenancy yourself. You tenancy you.
Reacting and taking everything personally can skiver witchery instantly. It comes off as unsafe. And that is huge for women, they need to know they can be unscratched with you. It is your nomination in how you segregate to respond to the things virtually you.
Mindset #8 You embrace failures with strength and confidence
We all mistakes in life but you embrace these mistakes and ask yourself how can I be better, what can I learn from this and what would I segregate to improve. Let me respond to my mistakes and see how I can fix this so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t get lanugo on yourself and start punishing yourself like, “Oh, you’re not a good guy, you’re horrible, no woman is going to like you. You don’t deserve love.” You don’t say those things to yourself.
When you’re in the dumps you’re like, “Okay fine. I messed up but how am I going to modernize with this and how am I going to move forward?” You take the proactive notions and you build the skills so you don’t have this happen to you again.