Remove Resistance and Reframe your Stress
If you finger as though circumstances have you backed into a corner, it’s time to reassess. If you’re sick of your situation — your partner is driving you up the wall, you’re frustrated with your job, you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed — realize that the stress and frustration you’re experiencing has nothing to do with what’s happening right now in this minute. The stress you’re experiencing is a resistance to what is.
Instead of focusing on the right-here-now moment, the focus of your thoughts is on the projected and imaginary future state in which your current situation remains the same, or is worse. Stress comes from the vaticination that there’s no end in sight.
Take any stressful situation you have going on and ask yourself: “Where does the misery exist?” Is it here in this moment, or is it when you’re thinking well-nigh the imminent journey that this situation may travel, extending the misery and the strife? Your heightened uneasiness arises from the imagined future state.
Now get really present. Shift your sustentation internally to the sensations in your body. Waif any stressful thoughts for a second. Ask yourself “What’s real this very second?” Nothing is too stressful in the present moment, right?
Here are three real ways to reframe your stress:
1. Unclose that you’re resisting what is. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed and miserable, many times this simple acknowledgement will transform your resistance into acceptance. But let’s be clear : I’m not talking well-nigh resignation where you’re not going to do anything well-nigh your situation. By supporting your resistance to what is you can shift from reaction to response. When you’re responsive you can act. When you’re responsive you are present and powerful. When you’re responsive you’re not stressed.
A practical example is when you’re stuck overdue a really slow driver. Your reaction is to get angry. Simply unclose that you’re resisting what is and see what happens to your anger.
2. Unclose that your stress doesn’t exist now. Your stress exists in your imagined future. Don’t paint a miserable future but tell yourself a variegated story and get present in the now. Forget the past, waif the future, and simply be with what is right now. It’s a moment, and every moment is manageable.
3. Envision a largest future. Here’s a bonus step — and it’s definitely my favorite if you want to do increasingly than just find relief: Fast forward to the vision you’d like to be true, whatever you imagine that future state for you is. See the perfect scenario that would make you happy tomorrow, or two months from now, or three years. Now tell the story backwards and explain to yourself how the current situation was veritably necessary, veritably on purpose, to get you to this new place.
Telling the story backwards is powerful considering it doesn’t just remove the stress from the current circumstance (the imagined future state) but it puts the current situation in a light that allows you to automatically shift into gratitude and purposefulness. That’s way increasingly enjoyable than stress.
These reframing tips can help unendingly you get knocked off your part-way or finger overwhelmed. Practicing them regularly can recondition you to a state in which stress and uneasiness are the exception and not the norm. Therefore, considering you won’t be so conditioned to negative emotion, it’s easy to reservation and recenter as soon as it happens.
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Amy Eliza Wong is a certified executive mentor who has devoted increasingly than 20 years to the study and practice of helping others live and lead on purpose. She works with some of the biggest names in tech and offers transformational leadership minutiae and internal liaison strategies to executives and teams virtually the world. Her new typesetting is Living on Purpose: Five Deliberate Choices to Realize Fulfillment and Joy (BrainTrust Ink, May 24, 2022). Learn increasingly at alwaysonpurpose.com.