Riding the Wave of Rage: How Mindfulness Became My Lifesaver

Life may be as a turbulent, unmanageable wave. Emotions, and particularly the heavy ones, such as anger or frustration, emerge over us like giant waves, and we feel powerless and frightened. At least it used to be long time that the feeling of anger seemed to be exactly the same: a wave of anger that was just going to carry me off. Then I found an instrument which made all the difference. This is how that discovery came about.

Ride the Wave of Rage: Mindfulness as My Life Saver

And it began with such simple things: a toy that is lost, a traffic jam, a loud bang. It would make my heart run and my face go red, and my head go round. I felt as though I was full of fire that was ready to burst out. I would explode, spew out words that I did not mean and then would be tired, frustrated and helpless. I knew that I had to control these strong emotions in a better way. I needed emotional mastery. It was at that point that I learned about mindfulness.

Initially the mindfulness concept appeared complicated. However, one teacher simplified it: it is all about enjoying the present. It is being able to see what is going on around and inside you without self judgment. Mindfulness does not mean to prevent the waves of anger; it means to learn to ride them, stay balanced, and make sure to go through the storms of life being mindful.

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Understanding the Storm: What Is Anger, Really?

We need to comprehend anger in order to deal with it. Anger is a normal feeling. Everyone feels it. It is a message, a warning light in your dashboard. It tells us, That that is something wrong! or "I feel hurt!" It is not the feeling that is the problem. That is the issue; what we do with that feeling.

In the absence of mindfulness practices, anger may creep in. It causes unthought-out responses. We may yell, bang the door or even injure feelings. Mindfulness assists us in generating a small, effective gap between our emotion upon the anger and deciding what to do. There we discover our strength.

My First Lifesaver: The Power of the Pause

The most significant and the initial mindfulness tool I was taught was The Pause. It is precisely what it is named. You are only brought yourself to halt when you feel that initial hot spark of anger. You don’t act. You don’t speak. You just breathe.

I began the practice by a basic mindful breathing exercise:

• Stop everything.
• Feel your feet on the floor.
• Inhale and count to four gradually inhaling via the nose.
• Count slowly and slowly through the mouth.

This is all it will take to transform everything three times. It drives the anger wave stop button. It allows your thinking brain to get on track with your feeling brain. This merely conscious breathing was my first real life-saving.

Building Your Mindfulness Toolkit: Simple Practices for Big Feelings

Mindfulness is not a single discipline. It’s a set of tools. Different tools can be used on different days. These are the ones that were of the most help to me.

Tool #1: The Body Scan for Tension Release

Anger lives in the body. Your fists clench. Your shoulders tighten. Your jaw locks. You can search those hard areas with a body scan meditation, and release them.

You can do it anywhere. Sit or lie down quietly. Start by noticing your toes. Are they tight or relaxed? Just notice. Then gradually shift your mind along your body, feet, legs, belly, chest, arms, neck, face. Do not attempt to alter anything in the first place. Be a pleasant discoverer of your own body. Frequently, even being aware of the tension makes it ease. It is an effective method of anger management in terms of awareness.

Tool #2: Becoming the Weather Watcher of Your Mind

Have your thoughts and feelings be like weather. Some days are sunny (happy). Some days are cloudy (sad). And there is a thunder day and lightning (anger)! You are not the storm. You are the one looking through the safe, comfortable window at the storm.

This is termed development of present moment awareness. You just notice an angry thought as it comes,--This is so unfair! You may conceive within your mind, "Oh, I have thought that this is not fair. This creates distance. You think about it as only a cloud that has come by, but not the entire sky. It becomes powerless to possess you.

Tool #3: The Anchor of the Senses

When the mind is running away with anger, senses will get us back. This is referred to as grounding techniques of instant calm. It appeals to your five senses to present you to the present.

The 5-4-3-2-1 trick comes in handy when you are in a bad mood:

1. Look for 5 things you can see.
2. Touch 4 things you can feel.
3. Listen to 3 things that you can hear.
4. Notice 2 things you can smell.
5. Find 1 thing you can taste.

It is a practice that takes your mind off the churning mad thoughts and into the concrete real world you are in. It is very powerful in overcoming emotional turbulence.

Making It Real: Mindfulness in Everyday Life

• You do not have to sit on a cushion several hours. Mindfulness practices do not require complex training.
• Mindful Eating: Take one snack today at very slow pace. Awareness of color, smell, touch and taste.
• Mindful Walking: Experience each step. Feel yourself lifting off your heel to your toe.
• Mindful Listening: Without any plans of how to respond, listen to a person talk. Just hear their words.

Such little gestures of care condition your muscle of looking. They reinforce it, so that the large wave of anger arrives, you are prepared.

Your Journey Starts With One Breath

It is possible to Riding the wave of rage. It does not imply that you will stop getting angry. It is as though you are not afraid of that feeling. You will be equipped with the tools your mindfulness toolkit you will be able to sail you through it gracefully and with power. You will know how to look at anger as a wave, and yourself as the talented surf-rider, and ride it with its energy but not as though it were going to topple you.

Start small. The next time you experience a flicker of frustration breathe deep the next time. It is that one breath which starts your journey. That is how mindfulness happened to be my savior, and it will be yours as well.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Does that mean that mindfulness should involve happiness at all times?

A: Not at all! Mindfulness is concerned with being mindful of everything you feel happy, sad, angry, bored. It is about being able to experience them and not being swept away. It is not an imposition of the happy.

Q: I can’t sit still to meditate. Am I able to maintain mindfulness?

A: Absolutely! It is not about sitting and being mindful. You do not need to follow any rules to practice it, you can do it when learning to walk, when eating, when coloring something as well as when listening to music. Anything that you give full attention to the moment you are in is good.

Q: When will mindfulness begin to work on anger?

A: You could notice a slight difference just after some serious breathing. To be able to make changes that remain longer, consider it as learning an instrument. One session a week (even short practices of 2-5 minutes) is not as efficient as daily practices. Consistency is key.

Q: Is this just for adults?

A: No! Children and adolescents possess fantastic mindfulness muscles. Acquisition of these skills at an early age is a blessed gift. It develops emotional strength and self-realization in life.